…but not for much longer.  I’m just shy of 38 weeks, which means I am technically full term, and could go into labor at any time.  Not that I see that happening; Coco and I have had several late night chats about him staying in until the full 40 weeks (or longer, if he prefers).  While I am getting increasingly uncomfortable (I started freaking WADDLING this week) and would like to be able to tie my own shoes, to be honest, I’m not ready for him to make his grand entrance.

To put it bluntly, I am freaking the fuck out about being a mother.

I have wonderful, supportive friends who tell me that I will be a good mother, and I almost believe them, but then I realize that I still don’t really like kids.  At all.  They get on my nerves like you wouldn’t believe.  I know that I will love Coco to pieces, but I want to be able to like him as well.  I want to be the awesome, laid back, caring, and supportive mom that he deserves.  Like any parent, I want to do right by him.

So, besides the freakout, how have I been doing?  Physically, pretty damn good.  For the most part, my pregnancy has been going so well that I feel like I’m bragging just describing it.  I’ve only gained 10 pounds, I’ve been taking better care of myself, and there have been absolutely no complications whatsoever.  Coco is growing nice and big, and is a VERY active little boy.  In fact, most babies as they reach full term tend to slow down in their movements, but not Coco- he is constantly moving and kicking, which scares the crap out of me because he’ll probably start walking at 6 months! O_O

Thankfully, throughout this process, I’ve had Matt.  He is, and has always been, my rock.  He puts up with my crazy hormones and silly demands, and does it all with a smile on his face.  I know in my last post I talked about how awesome he is- frankly, I don’t care if I sound like a broken record.  He has sacrificed so much for our growing family, and I’m thrilled that he will be staying home with me and Coco from November 9th to the beginning of the new year.  He needs a break (even if it is dealing with a newborn).  He’s worked SO hard for so long, and I’m glad he’s able to do this for his sake.

So, in the next few weeks before Coco’s arrival, I am going into full-blown nesting mode: his nursery needs to be finished, and the house in a general state of homeyness so we can relax and enjoy this time as a family.

Wow- Matt and I will have a family.  What a trip.

I haven’t touched this blog in forever, but with some pretty big changes happening in my life, I thought it best to give it another shot.  A new location, a new look, and a new name- all in hopes to journal one of the biggest events in my life.

Yes, we're sure

As you all know, Matt and I are expecting our first child in November, and I am scared shitless.  I imagine it’s the same crap every first-timer thinks, but I can’t seem to help it.  I’m terrified that I have already done something to screw this kid’s life up, like passed on my anxiety and depression issues.  I pray this kid is like Matt in pretty much every way.

And regardless of what my darling husband may think, he has, and continues to be absolutely amazing.  He tells me I’m beautiful when I’ve got a zit the size of a small moon on the end of my nose, and I have no doubt in my mind that he will be the best daddy ever.  I think that’s the part I’m looking forward to the most- seeing Matt hold our child (pregnancy hormones make me all weepy just thinking about it).  So, the next time you see him, please remind him of his awesomeness.  He doesn’t believe me when I say it, but if enough people tell him, he just might.

As I am writing this, I am just shy of 12 weeks.  I try not to complain, because I know that some women would kill to have the pregnancy I have had so far: apart from being queasy a few times, I haven’t been sick.  I’ll take the crippling exhaustion and horrible breakouts over that any day!  We’ve found a great doctor, and hearing The Kid’s heartbeat over the doppler on Monday was beyond awesome, if a little surreal.

So, what are the next few months looking like for us?  Hopefully we’ll be able to get this house in a condition to put it on the market.  I would really prefer not to bring a baby home here, but with the housing market the way it is, especially in St. Louis, there is a very good chance it may happen.  I may not like it, but I’ve accepted it.  Besides that, life will be pretty much the same until November, when all hell breaks loose.  And I can honestly say that I can’t wait (and yes, come Christmas I know will whistling a different tune).