No more happy pills

So, I have two pills of Lexapro left. And I haven’t even taken tonight’s dosage, so tomorrow will be my last. I’ve taken over 2 and a half months to wean off of it, which is a good thing. When you try to stop anti-depressants quickly, your body does NOT like it. While I’ve had the occasional headache, and my sleeping pattern has changed slightly, I’d say I’ve done pretty good.
Now, I’ll be honest; I am TERRIFIED of what may happen once I stop completely. I NEVER want to go back to how I was before. I don’t want to spend days at a time in bed. I don’t want to cry at the drop of a hat. I don’t want to start having anxiety attacks. This time last year, I was a total mess. I remember talking to the doctor, TRYING to sound normal. When I wasn’t lethargic, I was nervous. It sucked.
Apparently the photo lab is looking for a new supervisor. I refuse to even think about it. I know the money would be REALLY good, and it would make our financial situation better, but I just can’t do it. I think it reminds me too much of a time when I was messed up. I do miss the people that I worked with, but all of them have since quit anyways. They’ve all had babies.
Anyhooo….we’ll see how this goes.